Stomach Growl Story Story About Ice Skating, Can U Please Help. It's A Mini Story For English, Thanks Not To Long?
Story about ice skating, can u please help. It's a mini story for english, thanks not to long? - stomach growl story
Is this a good story? How do I add another exaggeration? Where can I addd? u can help me with some exaggeration? thank you guys
The freshness, freshness, is beauitful. The ice rink. Since I was little, I loved ice skating. This is my favorite place for many reasons: The Way It makes me feel good, I relax, have fun. Fresh frozen fingers, but it's fantastic. I am almost one when I'm on the sheet of smooth ice. When I'm on the ice in about an hour, I feel so hot as a steaming pot of reproduction. My mother will pay about two billion dollars per week in the new figure skating for me. When you start to skate, I can not stop. Skating is my passion. As I leave the ice, the smell of hot cinnamon, freshly made in the concession stand. My mouth watered. The smell in the nose. I'll be back to be on the ice. Now I feel as cold as in Alaska, shivering on a day of winter. Toco frost, ice, bright, wet, muddy shaperend in my CV. Around me the crowd. They are distributed in the stands. I have many things: the palms of the Han --DS, roaring noises, applause for me. I shone like diamonds in the hot sun. It was almost my time to shine on the ice. Rinestone touched my blue dress ice skating volure silky. Nothing was so great this time. Now I'm hungry. My stomach growls and my taste buds tingling when walking around. I want this hot cinnamon rolls, but theres no longer such a bad condition, unsalted jumbo pretzel. Tastless is also in mustard sauce.
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6 comments:
Why, then, the whole number (not really a story) about the smell and taste of food is a requirement that he skating?
I am afraid not much sense as, skating. Why his mother had to buy new skates every week? Why are they cheering crowd during a training? Why eat while wearing her best dress competition?
Why, then, the whole number (not really a story) about the smell and taste of food is a requirement that he skating?
I am afraid not much sense as, skating. Why his mother had to buy new skates every week? Why are they cheering crowd during a training? Why eat while wearing her best dress competition?
cinomon rolls! The track is a dream! But seriously: 2 billion U.S. dollars per week on the skates?
each phrase is different, this is not really flowing. You need your competition or practice, or say what
Not bad .. I think you should find a synonym for "modernity", and then repeat it in the first half, and end all for you ...
"Perhaps the first case, 2 sets, but not quite as" fresh ice was freezing very much, "or something similar.
"The decisions about when you are warm when it's cold, probably should be deleted
- Is your last sentence would be: "It's so hot mustard tastless same, but I like it anyway, because the track should be somewhere like the character, unless the character and makes him hate pretzels.
They will try you, more understanding of where you are, you are showing in the competition, or, or what? And you can change a few sentences to flow better. Hope this helps!
.... Well, to be honest, it's not really how he feels figure skater and has a few grammatical errors. Moreover, the scenario is clear: where are you? , .. Competitive practice? And besides, I have no idea what is the point in its history precisely where you're going with this?
I agree with the last person said. The point of the story is not at all clear whether it exists. You must define in order to ...
Your words seem almost too good as if you try to accommodate as many descriptive words again, and thus appear agitated. It is true that good literature has a descriptive language, but the flow of descriptive words. I'm only with exaggerations, but it could run better.
His story seems to be much around. First, we speak of the runway, and then when skating, then on the ice and the smell of the food back on the ice and was pleased by the lack of food, but no cinnamon rolls left. Another thing I agree with the first person, I have no idea whether it is a practice or competition. You try to make it clear to that a bit better.
And I must say, describing how he feels on the ice, which sounds a little corny ... : / Y "I shone like diamonds in the hot sun? Are you the twilight or something? I also wish that the sentence that you are trying to say otherwise.
Do not think I need more exaggeration. "... Two billion dollars a week ..." is very extreme, even excessive. Yes, it is an expensive sport, but it seems almost childish, when you say "two billion dollars." I want a better means of exaggerating the costs. Something like ... I do not know, maybe "of skating, not only my mother can get the sewer all the time, but for all his money. Or something like that. But it is worth mentioning a very difficult and too steep. Read and listen to you when this seems strange and difficult to read aloud, or talk to someone and how it flows when you say.
One final point, you should check your grammar (in quotation marks ....) points on the line and spelling. Run a spelling and grammar checker in him in his team and he * must * most of the errors, with the possible exception of apostrophes. Just watch what you write carefully!
I hopeSorry, I helped a little, so I'm picky about this ... I like writing very much! Continue to provide advice and suggestions, and he will finally achieve the perfect look for history! :)
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